The Heart Of A Paladin

just the whispers of a paladin lost in a big scary world

Tuesday, January 24, 2006

Some Canadian Content (since most of the lyrics I post are by American Artists)

Camelot by Sweetsalt
he calls her "tigermoth"
she laughs a tear and he looks at the floor
he asks when her plane in leaving
"this afternoon, four."
he asks to see her off
she says she'll be o.k.
he swallows hard and pulls her close
she walks away
she walks away
he says,

chorus:
"camelot will never be the same without you
but living on borrowed faith is just not the way
it breaks my heart to see you so blue
it'll never be the same without you"

he boards the bus at three-fifteen
he's headed for the train
he sits beside no one
for fear of conversation
far from the windows and the rain
the bus arrives
she's nowhere to be found
he cries his eyes out
he never makes a sound

(chorus)

she stares for hours in the mirror
at the reflection of the room
no concern for beauty here
no cautious optimism
she's hungry for the moon
somewhere in the night
michael spreads his wings
rushing through the velvet curtain
to her soul he sings
and he says,

chorus2:
"camelot will never be the same without you
but borrowed faith is just not the road to take
to find a place in all this dark and gloom
the path of nails and scars is the only way
the path of nails and scars is the only way

Monday, January 23, 2006

Let my Cheeseburgers go!

It looks like Steven Harper is going to run our country and McDonald's is no longer having two cheeseburger day. Coincidence? I think not. Damn you Harper, Damn you, you've won this round.

Saturday, January 21, 2006

My Main Men

Friday, January 20, 2006

My Drawings and Photographic evidence that Kevin is a Vampire





Friday, January 13, 2006

The Paladin Speaks: Part 2

I was truly hoping that I would not have to run one of my "the Paladin speaks" posts again so soon, but it seems that I was born under and unlucky star, or maybe it was that lepruchan I kicked once. Either way, my semi serious/satirical eulogy I was going to post will have to wait until I have my true voice back.

I had hoped with the coming of the New year that for at least a few weeks I would be able to sit down at the computer and not burst into tears because someone in the vastness of cyber space was telling me that I am a horrible person. It seems that wish will have to wait for next year. Once again, I am the subject of angry and hurtful rants far beyond my comprehension of how one human being could in good conscience say those things about another.

I am not so naive as to claim that no one should ever say anything bad about anyone else, but it seems that my sense of common human compassion and decency doesn't match up with the rest of the worlds. I have personal said bad things about others, this I admit, but I always try to censor myself as much as the emotional state I am in allows for because I always, no matter how badly the person has treated me, or what my feelings about them are, I always feel a big stabbing twinge of guilt when saying hurtful things. As idealistic as it may make me, I just want to make everyone happy. That has been my tragic flaw for many years, I need to learn when to quit trying to please sometime.

My own ideals cloud my better judgement most of the time and it seems that everytime I find my feet again, someone is ripping the proverbial rug right out from underneath them. This time I don't know if I have the strength or the desire to get back up. My life has been full of giving people second chances and the benefit of the doubt, but in turn these things have been rarely granted to me. An old proverb says "once bitten, twice shy". I think I have reached a turning point in my life when even my faith in the underlying good in people is waning, my trust in other is about to blink out of existence like a defeated, dying star.

The little voices inside my soul are in a state of never ending second guessing. There are some who tell me to hold, that I am a good person, better than most they know and that I should wait out the storm. The allegations being thrown at me are not even worth considering for a moment because they hold no truth. I am creature prone to self criticism though, and I find myself doing a lot of soul searching to discern the truth: Am I really a horrible person, or am I the victim of angry people?

The Paladin is going into meditation because it seems that Pelor has not been hearing her prayers lately. Maybe I broke my Paladin code.

Sunday, January 01, 2006

Moments to Remember 2005

Here are my top Roleplaying Moments of 2005. I may be adding to this list when I remember more. In brackets are the players/and /or their characters. here they are in no particular order:

1. T'Lak, T'drunk, T'Laid. Enough said. (Lila, Bridget, Soft Foot and Crim)

2. There was a dress code, so I made myself a crown (Me in a One shot with Larry)

3. I am a Katana, Steal me please. ( same game)

4. Joe's Character to Eddy's Character: Hey, what do you do?
Eddy's character: I'm a Rapier

5. I've got this great system. My secretary puts stuff in my inbox and I just move it to my outbox without looking at it, and it just disappears. it's Magic! (Lila on paperwork)

6. When Team Funny talked their way into Yu Shan and busted Crim out of the manse of forbidding ivy (Lila, Bridget, Junta and Soft Foot)

7. Poppets: We are going to pee on you.
Junta: Go ahead then get it over with
Poppets: (shouting at him) P, P, P , P, P!

8. Bridget, instead of activating graceful crane, elects to build a primative pair of skates, thus increasing the difficulty of her Dex+ Ath roll instead of decreasing it ( I love you Erin)


9. The many deaths of Eddy and all the deals he made with powerful evil gods in Lawrence's evil campaign ( I love you Eddy, you are my hero)

10. What Would Lazarus do? ( Caelyta Draygenchilde)

11. Timmy Hextor Keebler, the elf! (Lawrence's game)

12. The Day Ryiah Ran out of Willpower at the exact same times, Hadir's familiar died leaving him temporaily insane, leaving Logan and the NPC's to deal with the chaos. ( Lynzy, Don and Mark)

13. Lisa's first( and only) 8 hour game. Ahh just that Fairytale game in general. Too funny for words

there will be more, feel free to comment and add a few!

Saturday, December 31, 2005

Satisfying my Curiosity

This is a message for Anonymous, or sometimes known as Nonny Mouse. Ok you've officially sparked my interest enough to really wonder who you are. Normally with my Attention deficit disorder I just don't have the patience for internet mysteries, but I'll bite..Who are you?
email me at starstruck66@hotmail.com

To everyone else: dance like you've got monkeys in your pants

That is all
This is the Paladin signing out
Later Days

Ps for Erin, Kevin and anyone else who's ever hung out with those crazy Lunars: Tlak+Tlaid+Tdrunk = one hell of a good time!